-Twin Peaks

How many secrets do you have about yourself? And just how dangerous is it to your well being?

Today we're gonna talk about secrets. Everything from everyday secrets to life long secrets. Some might have many, some might have none. But what do you do when that secret is revealed? (Intentional and otherwise)? Our society has gotten to the point where we tell everyone else about our secrets instead of the people who matters most. Shit. We even PAY people to tell our secrets. Shrinks, hairdressers, bartenders, strangers. But the people in our lives at time knows nothing about that little dark corner of ourselves where only a few selected strangers know. But what if our loved ones knows about our secrets but no one really wants to acknowledge that secret?

8 years ago, during an event where all of my close friends are gathered at one point (fantasy baseball draft), my girlfriend at the time read my journal (filled with incriminating thoughts about other girls and discontent with her and other damaging entries...etc) and walked 10 blocks to confront me about it in front of my friends. Thinking back it wasn't really that big of a deal, because she's an ex now and it never really mattered anyways. My friends are still my friends and she's but a bug splatter on the windshields of my past. But, what do you do when you're confronted with a busted secret?

Nothing.

You move on.

And I quote Jewels (as I often do), "Stop asking questions if you're afraid knowing the answers."

It's on them. It's on the dead cat and those who can't resist a crack in the closet to face the burden of knowing something that the shouldn't know.

It's their responsibility to deal with the weight of that information and their responsibility to know better than to shine light at the darkest corner of the room.

You wanted to know? Great. Know YOU deal with it. Becuase I've had the burden all along. So now you fucking deal with it too. But you know what? Just don't ask for discussions of it and explainations and manuals on how to deal with it, because I've never had it.

* * * * * * *

On a different train of thought.

I've worked closed to 12-16 hours days every day this week. It's sweeps. For those of you who've never read my shit becuase I'd suggest you read back into the archives about sweeps. It's on the times of the year where tv news people bring out the tricks to appease people who love shows like "Mr Personality" and "Joe Millionaire." It's the time of the year where "Investigative/Special Projects/Sweeps/Special Assignment" producers like me do whatever the fuck we can to scare the public into watching a few more minutes of television just to see of their kids will die the next time they head to the playground. It's pure shit and pure drivel - and I spend close to 16 hours a day of my pathetic life making sure that happens.

And you wonder why I'm angry.