NO COFFEEGATE.

Ok. Now on to today's subject.

I need to be stopped...

The lovely Bizbe once told me that she liked girls and that understand the right circumstance, she could be persuaded into a...I'm not sure how you say it...I think it's a french term...

Yeah. You know what I'm talking about.

And how many of you out there have been told someone the above and thought it just might happen?

How's that working out for ya?

I thought so.

Ok. Now here's my theory about this whole thing.

It's a lie.

Yup. A huge big lie concocted at a gloria steinem rally in the 70's and then passed down from mom to daughter:

"Always give them the illusion that someday, given the right circumstance, you just might sleep with a girl."

How do I know this?

I've had this discussion with many friends of mine. And it's across the board.

Every single friend of mine had girlfriends who once told them that they found other women attractive and (given the right circumstance) wouldn't be against a liaison dangereuses avec les manage a trois. (yeah - 3 semesters of french shows huh?)

I don't have to tell you what I found out. Do I?

Now I'm not saying that she would never be with another woman...I'm just saying that if you have someone who have said that to you? She's being kind and merely humoring your perversity. As for you? Keep your self happy by thinking that someday, perhaps, under the right circumstance, if the planets aligned just right, you just might get your wish. But seriously guys, if she'd ever decide to be with another woman, she wouldn't want your sorry ass around damaging the scenery.

Ok. Here comes the real punchline.

Jokingly, I pitched this idea to my boss,

"Dude, what if we did a story on how women exaggerates about being bisexual in order to be more provoctive?"

"Hm. Can you get a girl to say that on camera?"

"Um..yeah, sure."

"That's great. That's a great story. We can put it on a tuesday night with the 70's show lead in."

"Dude. I was joking."

"Oh. Shit, well that's a great story - we should see if we can do something about it..."

"Um. Yeah."

Oy vey.

I don't know if I should be angry at myself for coming up with this asinine topic or working at a place where I have the power to put that asinine idea on television.

Uh. Yeah. I need to be stopped.